


I'm here

by SuperMazeWolf



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, Depressed Tony Stark, Drunk Tony Stark, Other, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Worried Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 08:58:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6368338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperMazeWolf/pseuds/SuperMazeWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark has had it. He's simply done, tired of everything. He's sure as hell ready to leave, but someone won't let him.</p><p>Basically Steve walking in just as Tony points the gun at his head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm here

**Author's Note:**

> This is trigger heavy, please be cautious of whether you're okay with dark thoughts or not.

Tony lives throughout a continuous cycle, and it tires him.

No one really knows, they all believe that Tony with the mask on his the real Tony, their Tony that always laughs and jokes, the Tony that's extremely smart and tough. But behind his mask he's barely alive, weak and crying for help.

Nobody hears it, hears his calls of distress, so Tony can't take it anymore.

He's drinking bottles upon bottles of Scotch, leaning against a wall in the corner of his living room. He has a gun sitting next to him, two rounds loaded and ready to shoot.

This is it.

Tony's too drunk to process or think about anything, which makes everything easier. He doesn't have to worry about friends and family or where he goes after dying because he's drunk to the point of no return.

He reaches over and grabs the gun, grasping the handle with a small frown. He barely remembers how to operate it because of his low thinking skills that'll probably last until he becomes sober, but he manages to sloppily load it and drag it up to his head. His knees are pulled up to his chest, the soft light of the machine stuck in him making him feel a bit more relaxed. He lowers his head and nearly laughs in self pity. Low to the end, he decides.

Tony lets out a sigh and readies himself. There will be no more pain, no more playing good or bad and that alone sounds fantastic. He smiles, letting out a hic.

He tightens his grip and gently squeezes the trigger.  
Or he thought he did.

The bang goes off, but he's not dead. He's on his side, his hands being gripped by stronger hands. At first he struggles, half wondering if the thing is an intruder, but he blinks and adjusts his eyes onto a familiar face.

"Cap?" He mutters, letting his body grow slack.

Its Steve Rogers, he realizes, the captain. Tony's confused for a moment, wondering how Steve found him, but he comes to realize that he threw a bottle at the wall just before raising the gun.

Stupid, stupid Tony, stil can't do anything right.

"Tony," he hears the captain whisper, barely audible, "What the hell were you thinking?"

I was thinking of moving on until you rudely tackled me, Tony wants to retort. 

He finds himself muttering something even more ridiculous. "I was thinking of dying, Cap, as you can see," he remarks, waving his free hand at the gun not far from them. 

The posture they're in is awkward, Steve practically laying on Tony while gripping his wrist, a thin, white shirt the only thing between them. Oh, Tony thinks, I'm shirtless. Of course he is, he usually has his shirt off when he's alone.

He stays still as Steve lets go of Tony, pushing himself off of Tony. Steve pulls Tony up to sit, looking around as if looking for something. His blue eyes land on Tony's shattered bottle and he sighs, turning around before wrapping his muscled arms around Tony.

Tony doesn't say anything; he just sits, not knowing what to do. He's quiet for a while, quiet and controlled until he hears Steve murmur, "It's going to be okay, Tony."

Then Tony's shaking, arms around Steve as he tries to steady himself. "I'm such a fuck up, you know?" He finds himself saying, "Just a piece of shit hiding behind a mask." He hears Steve murmur a small 'that's not true,' and the captain's hand is rubbing Tony's back. 

"Just a smartass that can only build," Tony continues, laughing at himself, "A man with a machine stuck inside of him. I mean, what the hell?" He says, now mostly aimed at himself, not Steve. "Just a billionaire with nothing good to do. A fuck up, just a fuck up."

"That's not true," he hears Steve mumur again, letting out a small sigh, "Not true." Tony buries his head in Steve's broad shoulder, shaking his head slightly. "Not true my ass."

"It's not true, Tony." "I should have died." "No, you shouldn't have." "I'm still here, I'm not supposed to be." "Tony, I'm here."

Tony stops, taking in the simple words.  
I'm here, Steve keeps repeating, We're all here.

It's as if those 2 words are the switch, and Tony's crying, sobbing, his wails of despair muffled by Steve's shoulder. Steve rocks back and forth, stroking Tony's hair and neck, and they both are crying. Steve has silent tears pricking the corner of his eyes, and he wishes that he'd known sooner, wishes that he'd known that Tony was suffering.

Steve suddenly pulls back, cupping Tony's face gently before leaning in, closing the gap between them. Tony's speechless at the coolness of Steve's lips, the gentleness of his hand, everything makes it seem like he's going to be alright. Steve can still feel the dampness of tears on Tony's face, but it doesn't matter. Tony's lips are on his, and he's still here, still alive. 

Steve slips his arm under Tony's legs and picks him up bridal style, carrying him to his bed and laying him on it. He pulls the cover over Tony, and he hesitantly slips in next to him, pulling Tony closer as his sobbing subsides. Steve places a kiss on Tony's head as Tony tucks his head under Steve's chin, leaning against his chest. Steve wraps an arm around Tony, rubbing reassuringly. 

It's okay, he murmurs again.

I'm here.


End file.
